7 as in the years that I had spent with the girlfriend that I still owed a ring

7. You read right. It’s a long time to have been dating someone and not even get engaged. I was thinking about it. I had always thought about it.

But I was scared.

What if it was too late? What if I had taken too long to propose and she was comfortable where we were and did not want to get married? What if, what if.

Story of my life. What a stupid guy I was to have taken finding love as such a trivial matter. I could have just bought a ring and went for it. I should have sucked it up at bought the damn thing.

But R8000 though. What ring would I get with that? A bronze one, maybe. Gosh, she’d hate me for that. She’s have another reason to break-up with this screw up.

Promise a girl everything and then end up having to leave her nothing.

If I proposed at that moment, it would feel like I was not really genuine. That I was only regretting what I never did. Which was true.

I still hadn’t told her. She still didn’t know that her boyfriend for seven years was going to die. Am I bad for trying to spare her the pain of knowing that I was going to die? I did not want her to hurt because of something as trivial as me dying. She could get another worthy boyfriend. One that saves. One that remembered anniversaries. One that was not about to die in a few months.

 

 

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