“I am not supposed to tell you how stupid you have been.” X said, causing me to frown. “I’m not supposed to tell you how scared I was that they were going to get you and kill you, because Aizawa is a crazy piece of shit. I’m not supposed…”
“You’re not supposed to do a lot of things.” I cut him off, feeling like what he wanted to say would be long. I folded my legs closer to my body as I changed the TV channels. I took one of the chips on my lap and put it in my mouth. “You also talk too much.”
“You’ve always been like this.” He sighed, plopping down onto the sofa next to me.
“Sorry.” I said, not really meaning it.
“I’m not angry.” He said taking a chip from my bowl. I allowed it. “You said that the tracker hurt when you bath.”
“It’s worse when the water is cold. But whatever.”
“You never told me.” I stopped on what looked like an interesting movie.
“You shouldn’t say that if you don’t mean it.” He deadpanned. I frowned and then averted my gaze to his hand that was comfortably rested on my thigh.
“Is it weird that I find it hard to feel? Sometimes I’m fine. Happy that at least I have a roof over my head, but then sometimes I just don’t care. Like when I shot the Japanese guy. What happened at the supermarket does not even bother me anymore.” I smiled using my fingers to draw imaginary lines on his hand. “I like being able to be normal. To feel and not just be.”
“If you are like that then you will be killed. People who do what we do cannot feel, Nameless. We’ve done too much to start feeling guilty.”
“So what should I do?” I asked, looking up into his purple eyes. I never even asked why they were like that.
“Embrace your true self. Don’t try to hold back what you really feel. Just be.”
I couldn’t breathe. My eyes shot open as soon as I realised that I was not dreaming, but actually being strangled.
I tried to remove the hands around my neck, but the person was bigger, stronger. Even shouting for help was impossible. I stared into the golden eyes of the person on top of me.
Golden eyes. Something in me knew that I should be terrified of the person. I could see the hate in his eyes as well. His hands tightened around my neck and I shut my eyes, preparing myself for the inevitable.
My eyes shot open and my hands went up to my neck. My eyes were wide as I stared into the worried purple eyes that belonged to X. When I realised that it was all just a dream, I lay my head on X’s chest.
“Nameless,” he softly said, wrapping his arms around me.
“Gold eyes.” I softly said. “Gold angry eyes.” He sighed, resting his chin on my head.
“W.” He softly said. “At least you remember something.” He did not say it in a good way, but in a sombre tone.
“It’s not a good thing.” I said, shaking my head. “He was strangling me, X.”
“A memory. I’m guessing it was your last meeting.” I looked at him, shifting backward. “He was angry that you chose me and not him.”
“I have too many enemies.” I rested my face in my hands, sighing. “I hate my life.”
“Do you want something to drink? Water, maybe.”
“I want a different life.”