Countdown

0 as in nothing

Non-existent. Not present. Zero. What more is there to say, but, my countdown is finally over. I needn’t count down anymore. Zero. Is it possible to count any lower? Isn’t that usually where it ends, or was that supposed to be one? Zero, that is after the white light. The life after that? Or is… Continue reading 0 as in nothing

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Countdown

1 as in the number of times I went into shock

I was fine. I was telling my mother how beautiful her dress was. I was looking at her hands, with chipped nail polish on her nails. She had been rejecting her looks. She always believed that no matter what, looking good should at least be second priority. I guess, when you had a dying son,… Continue reading 1 as in the number of times I went into shock

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2 as in the number of days I was in pain before it became unbearable

I was, obviously, rushed to the hospital. Even after I had told my girlfriend that I would be dying anyways. I had slowly slipped into depression and there was nothing anyone could do about it. My pain-filled couple of days led me to go sooner than everyone had expected. It probably hurt more for me,… Continue reading 2 as in the number of days I was in pain before it became unbearable

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3 as in the hundreds of times that I had told them I was okay

It is not exactly, but approximately. Every day, my parents called. They wanted to see how I was doing, if I had seen the light yet, or if I had eaten. They seemed to believe that some miracle would happen and I would survive and get married and have kids. My girlfriend wanted to get… Continue reading 3 as in the hundreds of times that I had told them I was okay

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4 as in the number of people in the room when the news came out

It was not as dramatic as it sounds. I made it sound like we were watching a soapie when all of a sudden our phones beeped with the latest trending news. Which, in the current situation, was my impending death. I had invited my parents over to dinner and asked my girlfriend to cook the… Continue reading 4 as in the number of people in the room when the news came out

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5 as in the hour that my girlfriend woke up to find me crying

There were approximately four months before I finally kicked the bucket. When I finally let my phone ring till the end, I just told my parents that I loved them. I did not tell them that I would be dying and burdening them once again. I was staying in the same house as someone and… Continue reading 5 as in the hour that my girlfriend woke up to find me crying

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6 as in the number of times I hung up before I let the phone ring all the way

I wanted to tell my parents. I wanted them to know that they would be outliving their son. I wanted to congratulate them for staying so healthy and not getting strange diseases that did not cut their lives short unexpectedly. I wanted them to know that I was sorry for being a bad child. For… Continue reading 6 as in the number of times I hung up before I let the phone ring all the way